he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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