are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
