I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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