I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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