i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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