I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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