All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
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