dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
