she was so not down for the gang bang
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
