just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize