My sheets look like a crime scene.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
