It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
