2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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