I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
