i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
