Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There are leaves in my underwear?
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