i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Randomize
