So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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