Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
