this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
