I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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