another moral hangover. fuck.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
