Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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