Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
