I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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