We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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