Umm I'm too high to move.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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