I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
