I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
and you fell through a lawn chair
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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