Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Someone signed my nipple.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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