Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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