I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
