we have officially lost it.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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