Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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