plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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