Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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