Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
