She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
