READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
