I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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