just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
