then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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