make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
