After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I will be naked everywhere
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
