I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She needs sedatives and a leash
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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