Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i think im in europe. pls send help
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
