he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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