The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
