butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
