only if we run a train.
done.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
