what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
