dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
