ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize