Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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