She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
