My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
