Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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