let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
