this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
