So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
