My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My sheets look like a crime scene.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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