i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
