You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
