I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
