have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
