the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize