i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
