does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize